I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
