someone get that fucking seahorse.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
