You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
