quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
