Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
