New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I should be sponsored by Trojan
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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