So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
