chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
