tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So squirting runs in the family.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
