I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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