i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
they need to just BURY HIM!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
BRING THE BAGELS
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