I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
