But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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