He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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