What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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