did you get engaged???
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
