your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
