I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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