You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
