Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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