I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
