Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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