Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
