I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
