Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
