DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So. Much. Porn.
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