Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Found your dick twin last night
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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