You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im drinking this country out of the recession.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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