Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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