I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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