is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
