Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
