Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
