Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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