I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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