How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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