The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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