Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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