I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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