You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
