I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
