And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
