Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
