she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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