I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
