woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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