It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
