wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
