you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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