24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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