imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
