yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
